'You shouldn't gift a cat': Boyfriend's birthday surprise leaves college student stressed and ready to return unasked for kitten

Author image for Sarah Brown
Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
May 30, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

This pawrent is in a real catastrophe. After hinting for jewelry or a framed butterfly for her birthday, her boyfriend surprised her with… a "One Free Cat Adoption" coupon. While well-meaning, gifting a living being without full discussion is a major misstep. Especially when it comes with ongoing emotional and financial responsibility. The new kitten, Faye, is a typical 6-month-old tabby tornado, bouncing off walls and meowing nonstop. Meanwhile, the boyfriend seems blissfully unbothered by the chaos… or the reality of their pet-restricted rental.

The original cat, a calm six-year-old who was once an outdoor adventurer, has yet to meet the new whirlwind. Understandably, the pawrent feels overwhelmed, sleep-deprived, and guilty. Torn between a growing bond and the real-world weight of this unexpected addition. She's trying to do everything right, but with exams looming and no extra support, the pressure's mounting.

To rehome or not to rehome? That's the agonizing question. This situation is a lesson in why pets should never be surprises and why true gifts should come with support, not stress. Whether Faye stays or goes, it's okay to prioritize stability, sleep, and sanity. Sometimes the kindest choice is the hardest one.

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  • 01
    'I kind of want to return her' Adopt me!
    via pixelshot / Canva

    Disclaimer: This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I feel awful. I have a cat thats 6 years old who's pretty chill, Ive had him since he was 11 months, found him on the street lol. Ive been talking for the past year about possibly adopting a kitten, because sometimes my resident cat gets lonely/bored when I'm busy and I thought maybe a friend could help.
    via u/dooombug
  • 03
    The months leading up to my 25th birthday, I hinted to my boyfriend (we live together and have been together for nearly 4 years) about wanting jewellery, or a framed butterfly (I collect taxidermy) and he told me he had this big surprise present planned.
    via u/dooombug
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10511105536
    via Tatyana / Canva

    Disclaimer: This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    Well the surprise present was a "One free cat adoption" coupon where he printed out various female kittens and generated QR codes for their adoption pages. I was initially really, really disappointed. I told him it was something we should discuss together, not a gift, you shouldn't gift a cat. And what if I don't want it, it feels like an unfair gift.
    via u/dooombug
  • 06
    I ended up deciding one of the kittens was quite cute, I visited her at the shelter and we adopted her a week later. Ive been very 50/50 on this. I don't know. Maybe a part of me wanted his gift to have some value so I impulsively decided to adopt.
    via u/dooombug
  • 07
    Also he only put aside money for the $200 adoption fee, I told him he needed to put aside close to $700-1000 because we need to buy so many items and keep emergency money. It feels that this is a financial contribution I have to make for my own birthday. Don't worry, I wont yap on about the gift aspect anymore.
    via u/dooombug
  • 08
    Onto the kitten; 6 month old tabby I named Faye. We're following the jackson galaxy introductory process with my resident cat, shes been in my bedroom this past week. She is ALOT. When I first adopted my resident cat, he was outdoors. This was before I knew anything about indoor/outdoor. He used all
    via u/dooombug
  • 09
    his energy outside for the first year and a half until I converted him to indoor. He was nearly 2 years old at that point and alot of his kitten energy wore off. I am NOT used to how much Faye jumps around, knocks things. over, scratches at things. And my partner doesn't seem to be too concerned. Ive told him when we
    via u/dooombug
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10511059200
    via Cantemir Ghita's Images / Canva

     Disclaimer: This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    let her out of my room he needs to clean up his computer cables, clean his room, etc. Keep hidey- holes covered so she doesn't get stuck anywhere. He thinks its fine and doesn't need to. I'm so upset
    via u/dooombug
  • 12
    She meows nonstop when I'm not in the room, its effecting my sleep, I'm a college student and I can't risk this during my exam period.
    via u/dooombug
  • 13
    Also we are renting and we arent even allowed pets. Weve successfully hidden my resident cat for years whenever we live somewhere like this. But Im worried 2 cats will be harder.
    via u/dooombug
  • 14
    I kind of want to return her. Im actually so torn on what to do. I feel like I'll traumatise her if I return her. I'm still waiting to introduce her to my resident cat next week, but Im worried if I wait a few weeks she will grow attached to me. Please help me decide what to do, should I wait a bit longer or return her asap? Ahhhhhh. I hate that this was put onto me but its also my fault.
    via u/dooombug
  • 15
    anxioustomato69 honestly, if you aren't allowed pets...return her. she's still small and cute and will get snatched up.
    via u/anxioustomato69

  • Hiding one chill adult cat is manageable, but two, especially with a chaos-powered kitten, is a whole new game. Those zoomies aren’t exactly quiet, and neither is all that meowing!

  • 16
    Sandy_Paws021415 You should never, ever keep a pet out of obligation. If you can't handle her, return her.
    via u/Sandy_Paws021415
  • 17
    yetanothermisskitty Id return her. She will find a home better suited to her. Its not hard for kittens to get adopted. You dont seem committed to this second cat emotionally, plus shouldn't have a cat to begin with given your housing situation.
    via u/yetanothermisskitty
  • 18
    tke494 A pet is ALMOST always a bad gift. You are giving someone a responsibility. Financial and time. I can only think of two exceptions:
    via u/tke494
  • 19
    If a parent gives it to a kid and the parent will be taking care of it, it's ok. Then, there is nothing the kid is required to do. Even if the kid says they'll take care of it, they are usually not mature enough to actually handle the responsibility. My ex ASKED for a cat as a gift, and it was the best gift she'd ever gotten.
    via u/tke494
  • 20
    However, it being a poor gift is mitigated by the way you accepted the gift. If he had bought the cat ahead of time, without giving you the opportunity to say no (like you came home to a new cat) it would have been worse.
    via u/tke494

  • Depending on the person, this might not be a gift. It could be a beautifully wrapped curse. Pets aren’t presents. They’re commitments, chaos, and cuddle monsters all rolled into one.

  • 21
    Andryandy Contact local rescues about rehoming. As a foster I'm usually against rehoming but this is a situation in which you should.
    via u/Andryandy
  • 22
    Not_Invited Return her, this is definitely a lesson for your bf to never gift an obligation, and for you to stay firm on your word in future. She'll be alright. My kitten was also a nightmare and I cannot imagine dealing with that during exams.
    via u/Not_Invited

  • Being a college student is already a full-time job with juggling classes, exams, and life. Adding a high-energy kitten to the mix? That’s a lot to handle, emotionally and financially.

  • 23
    VocaRainbow To be fair to your boyfriend, you have; in the past year, been talking about possibly wanting to adopt another cat. He then decided, rather than just giving you a kitten (which would have been irresponsible), to print out cats with QR codes to the adoption profiles. He wanted the choice to be yours, and he probably thought this
    via u/VocaRainbow
  • 24
    was an excellent gift, much better than jewelery or a framed butterfly, which you also hinted at being interested in. I'm reading nowhere that he was trying to pressure you into getting a cat you don't want. But indeed, enough about the gifting aspect.
    via u/VocaRainbow
  • 25
    The fact that your boyfriend wasn't thinking about upfront costs or concerned about kitten proofing isn't great. He absolutely needs to kitten proof, and it would be nice if the "new kitten project" would, other than the adoption fee, be a shared cost. More alarmingly, though, it sounds. like you're not really committed. I can't figure out
    via u/VocaRainbow
  • 26
    if you have any feelings of love for this little soul. And yet, you adopted. Why? So you have to really be honest to yourself. This is your choice to make, people on the internet can't do that for you. As it stands, this kitten is your cat. You signed the papers. So you have to either choose her wholeheartedly or return her. She deserves no less than that.
    via u/VocaRainbow
  • 27
    Bonus dilemma: if your landlord found out about your OG cat, would you find new living space, or rehome the cat? If you'd choose finding new living space, would you make that choice for your new cat too (keep the kitten, move elsewhere?). If the answer is no, really consider returning her now.
    via u/VocaRainbow

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birthday kitten gift relationships adopted cat owners feline pawrents animal shelter Cats
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